LookiNg foR My bRokeBaCk*

Just the other night, I watched “Brokeback Mountain” on DVD. I believe the movie was a hit but then some friends warned me that I might fall asleep while watching the movie. For the record, I didn’t fall asleep. Actually, I found myself contemplating after I watched the movie. It was such a sad story. It made me feel sad. Very seldom would a movie take an effect on me after watching it. Surprisingly, this movie is one of those. I was intrigued before of how the movie would go having an unusual theme. But then as I watched the movie, the story itself caught me.

The film tells a story about forsaken love due to the confirmation to society. But through time, they realized how deep their feelings are for each other that they even found a way to still be connected and be together. What caught me here was the realization that time itself cannot erase or change what a person really feels. They both have their own lives and yet, they still find themselves longing for each other. It made me realize how regretful it will be to walk away from something or someone who really means a lot to you. That no matter what we do, if the feeling is true, it will never leave us and we will eventually find ourselves looking forward the day to be with the one we really love. They may be wrong about the lies they keep from their families and their love can never justify what they do but still, I somehow admire how they find a way to express their love for each other. That they’d even go beyond their boundaries. I’m not saying that I favor infidelity. It will never be right. It’s just that I find their love to be very powerful that it binds them through time.

I even envy them for they have the “Brokeback Mountain” to go back to every time. I’ve lost a love and like them, it would be very wrong to have the flame back because like them, we both have our own commitments. But unlike them, I have no idea if I’d be able to express myself on the other line. Until now, I’m wishing for my own “Brokeback Mountain” to go back to.

--cuTs aNd bRuiSes--

Promises, they say, are always meant to be broken.

If you must swear it’s still best, to leave things unspoken.

Better do what you intend, than speak of it often.

Fall short to keep your word; sure a heart will cut open.

Funny how it is to hear those words which sounds so sweet.

Genuine it may seem all that’s uttered in every bit.

But grief will enfold as you uncover the deceit.

Don’t you ever succumb or the misery won’t fleet.

Hardships you will find to recuperate from the pain.

Things will be more complicated each time you complain.

Complexities may come but you need to keep you sane.

Coz in time you will heal though the memories remain.

con--CERN--able

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Discern what is concealable… Conceal what is discernible…

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We could learn everything about life through living life itself. We just have to be keen and broad. Do not limit yourself to perceive what is apparent. Extend your mind beyond what is obvious. Things are not always what they seem to be. Though sometimes, some things are better obscured than revealed. Truth binds, but under rare circumstance, it could cripple and much worse—annihilate.

'destineME'

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Finding a partner is one of the most crucial things one could ever decide on---that’s if it’s really meant to be decided. We always hear people say that they were destined for each other or destiny brought them together. But, are we really to blame destiny or is it all a matter of deciding if we want to end up with that certain person or not? Is destiny for real?

All people are connected by a thin line, which means that no matter how we try to choose whom to bump to or to talk to in our everyday struggle, we will always fail for we are all connected with each other by all means. People come and go in our lives, mostly, regardless of our consent. One day we will meet this person and the other day the other will step out of our life. Sometimes we get to be acquainted with someone and then it all ends there—you were nothing but acquaintances. But sometimes, we just met someone across the street not knowing that that person will play a huge part in our life.

The moment we meet someone is when we can say that destiny has brought us something but it has to stop there. We should never leave it to the “wherever destiny should take us” thing. After that phase in our life, it’s all up to our preferences if how deep we would want to get involved with that person.

I say choosing our partner is crucial because ‘trial and error’ will never be applicable to that. We will only end up shattered if we stick with that kind of scheme redundantly. Having a partner will take a big effect on our life, be it major or minor: decision making, way of living, everyday routine, and a lot more. It’s all because we decided to share a life with someone. It may not change who we are but it is where we start to make considerations for the person we decided to spend life with. So ‘trial and error’ is a no-no. Imagine going through several failed relationships and ending up with another failure—it surely will break us.

I’m not implying here that once we meet someone and decided to be with that someone for the rest of our life, we should stick with that someone even things went wrong. It is still for us to decide whether we still like to keep the relationship or not. If things can still be fixed and we feel—and think—that we can still live a life with that person, then go. But if we can see that being with that person will only make things horrible, letting go is our last resort. It will be the best thing for anyone involved in the relationship. We shouldn’t stick with a person because we think destiny put us together and we believe that it is our duty to keep our bind together even if we don’t see things to be turning out right. Remember that destiny did not decide to bind us together. We chose to be together so it will also depend on our decision if we still want to keep the bond.

We have to remember that we will never find in a single being all the traits and personalities we are looking for. We just have to choose and decide who among them stands out. From that, we must learn to comprehend whatever flaws they have, which we will discover to be plenty, in the future.

One thing we have to keep in mind from the very start… Don’t let destiny decide for you, choose your own destiny.

`strEwn...........

'been pretty much occupied with thoughts and ideas lately.. but then it seems that something's giving me a hard time putting it altogether..hahay..